Okay well in case you did not know we (Pierre aka Mister E DJ and I) had a son.


His name is Robert Gemini Jackson.

He was born 06.03.09 and this makes him a Gemini (the best sign there is in the zodiac) just like his momma! ;)

He weighed 9lbs and 8ozs. He was also 22 1/2" long.


It is funny cause I think he is super awesome. He seems to be more mannered after his father. He is not a hot head like his mother and so he has that sense of peacefulness to him. Do not ask me who he looks like because I am never any good at that sort of thing.


I have to say he is only 9 days old. However, I have started to feel different about a lot of things. Things that seemed so important to me, really are not that important any more. What is important is Robert. The most important thing in my life is Robert, Pierre and Parker. It is so strange how you find yourself in a different mind set in a manner of days or even moments.


For 34 years I have only lived for myself. I have had 2 husbands who were my world at one time. They were everything to me and I would do anything for them. Just as some of my very closest and dearest friends. I have always been the type of friend that would stand up for a friend or a lover no questions ask and be armed with my fistacuffs. None of that even compares to the devotion, love, and emotion that I hold for these three. Don't get me wrong my friends are wonderful and I love them all very much. Having a child changes you and your relationship with someone. I cannot speak for Pierre, but I do feel a stronger bond with him than even before. I will never forget lying cut wide open for that c-section. Him holding my hand, me crying because of the pain ( you are numb from sharp pain but not the pressure of the doctors pushing and pulling on you) along with the emotions and the fear that I was feeling. Him looking into my eyes and comforting me with his look of feeling and saying "It's okay its almost over". I know it may sound silly, but I can tell you that there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about how that day would have been so much worse if he was not there, holding my hand all the while and comforting me at the worse / best time of my life.
I can tell you getting an epidural was not fun, but I am thankful he was there with me holding me through it all.


So enough of the sappyness...

Here is Mr. Robert Gemini Jackson














Well that is all for now.
xoxox
Vanessa

Yeah I know I suck at updating my journal. I can't seem to get it together.
Anyway Pierre and I are having a boy!! The baby is due on June 2nd. We decided to name him Robert Gemini Jackson.


Here he is at 7 weeks:







Here he is at 9 weeks:







Here we are at 19 weeks:







Then he was sure to let us see he is a boy...


Yep That is Pierre's son!

So last night I went to a party. It has been awhile since I was at a party and honestly I don't normally do so well at them. That is if I do not know the person hosting the party. However, I have to say that I did have fun. It was a bit different from what I was used to and types of people that were there. There were people there from all different types of music, culture and interests. I did have to play keep away a few times. ( This is the act of running and staying away from people giving you advances). I would simply run to the boy and talk to him or I would run to my lustrous Jason for assistance.

I got to see some guy spit his beer at another guy's face. That was pretty tense moment. I am sitting there on a couch and talking with other people all of a sudden I hear a commotion and then there is projecting beer. I am like....wonderful. Then a little longer some guy got punched in the face. I looked over at Jason. He said something to me that just had me in hysterics. He said "Wow what a classy event we have decided to attend tonight". Yeah, I am not sure if it was just the wine or the fact with the transpired events of the night at that point but it sure was a lolercaust on my part.

I have found that when I was a bigger girl, girls were a lot nicer to me than they are now. It is funny how shallow some girls are. I think that brings me to my next point of topic.

I also want to make an announcement......

Girls flashing your boobs at a party while intoxicated really is lame. I have to say the older I get the less impressed I am with people, especially girls. Also announcing that you have size D cups is not impressing anyone either. Guess what all girls have boobs. THEY ALL HAVE BOOBS. WOW!! Some are big, some are small, some are round and some are thin. Some are perky and some sag. The truth of the matter is that all of us girls have them. So try to keep your top on and stop trying to gain attention with showing people them. I am just so unimpressed. Try wearing clothes that show your cleavage. It is like here they are but you cannot see all of them. Didn't these girls ever learn men do like to have some mystery. I know I wear the skirts short but then again I don't give a fuck who is impressed with me or not. I just like showing off my skull, lace, satin, boy short or Halloween panties!

Well it is not time for the Nightmare Before Christmas..so sorry to disappoint.

There are some things that I share with people and some that I do not mention but if you ask I will tell you. Don't worry none of you asked, but I felt like looking for insight.

Okay I live in a very old building downtown. I have been looking everywhere to find out its history and have failed with everything that I have attempted to find.

What I need is to find out the history of my building. I need to see records of deaths, at or in the building along with anything that could be in the surrounding area. I have been doing a lot of research as of late and trying to investigate the spookies that live around me. Yes I have a spooky that lives with me. He seems alright and he likes me even if he does do naughty things from time to time.

I have done countless hours of research online trying to find out anything about my building. Funny it has not changed names since it was built in 1929 but the photographs that I have found of it do paint a totally different picture than what it looked like when it was first built. There was houses right next to it on either side. Now there is a parking lot and a road on either side. Nothing left of the previous homes that once stood there.

I do not talk about it much, with strangers but I do see ghosts and other things that sometimes go bump in the night. I sometimes wonder if I have just licked too many walls with lead paint or perhaps a case of Lime Disease has made its way into my brain, or maybe I am just insane. However, if neither is the case then I have been what I believe is Clairvoyant or some sort of a Medium that I know of since the age of 5. I do not always see the dead. They sometimes are just "vibrations". I sense them there and I don't know how I know they are there but they are.

When I was two I saw a movie with my parents and honestly I do not know how and neither do they I knew who Jesus was. There was some actor portraying him and I knew who he was. I became highly excited and referred to him as "Yehoshua" or "Eashoa". It is Aramaic for Jesus. When I was five I had a dream that came true with the love of Wacky Wall Walkers..yeah that was lame. Then around seventeen I had a nice conversation with a dead little boy who I later met his sister and confirmed it was him and then later was confirmed died from being caught on fire. These are just a few things that I have encountered in my life.

For lack of a better description though I was attacked about a month ago, while in my apartment. This attack was not of the human kind at all but two malevolent figures that thought it would be a good idea to restrain me and try to choke me. Now, if you know me you know I don't do well with such behavior. I was very scared at first because I thought it was two real people on me. So needless to say when I was finally able to move and talk I demanded them out of my house and they ran with their tails between their legs. At first I was so irate. How dare something come into my home and try to hurt me. Then the more I thought about it, the more upset I got and even a little scared. So I called up mommsie. I told her and she told me how to protect myself. Since then no issues with those two little cunts. However now when I am in the hallway I still feel them watching me.

Since I have been obsessive in learning how to protect myself and my home and all that are around me. I am not allowing anything like that to happen to me again. Honestly nothing has ever done anything like that to me before and not sure why it is starting now. My mother says that we as having spirits give off a light. Some of us have a brighter light than others. The brighter the light the more others are attacked to you and they notice you. Especially someone who can sense and see what most others can not, it makes you a target. So she says I need to find my protection and set it around me and my home.

Now the man that is in my apartment now makes sure those bums do not come back. I was told he was a stately man but that he was a very much a gentleman, and best of all he likes me. He is "a bad brother" as I was told. I sense him but I can not get much off of him. I would like to know who he is so when he does scare me I can call him by his name to stop being naughty. Don't get me wrong naughty spirits that mean no harm are fine to me. It is the ones that try to hurt me that I want far away from me.

Which brings me back to these two. When I am in the hallway they stare at me. I sense them in the second stairwell. I don't feel scared of them as annoyed and angry. When I sense them I make it clear they better stay away from me, or there will be a situation. I do not dabble in the dark arts, and I do not do anything that I think would allow me to bring such dark things around me. I am a Christian and believe and love God, Jesus and all his angels, so why do they want me?

Well so here I am looking for answers on this building. I am also looking for others in the area that would be interested in maybe making some sort of group that we can help each other with these issues and situations. I did find a Psychic church downtown, but I am a bit nervous going alone to something like that. If someone wants to go with me, let me know!

Well I am going to bed now. Its been a long but wonderful day

Here are some images that are from the shoot I did with alley_shiver. We went to Crown Hill Cemetery and shot some images in the coldest of days. Crown Hill Cemetery is the second largest cemetery in the nation. My source is from a good friend who is a funeral director. It is an amazing place if you ever get a chance to visit Indianapolis, it is a must to see. However on this day my hands kept turning colors and she too was a bit cold. Her dress and veil is from the Victorian era. How awesome to have a family that keeps everything and to find this prize in your attic! Such a lucky girl. So we tried to keep with the theme. That is why the images that have been manipulated to give them that old Victorian photo feel to them. Luckily my mother collects such photographs so I know how to make them look, in a sense. I have included a few non old photo style to show off alley_shiver's beauty, and just for fun!

Oh yes and I hope everyone is having a Happy New Year!




(  More, all work safe )

I'm working on all kinds of photos! SHEW. Here is one of alley_shiver that I took yesterday at the Crown Hill Cemetery.




I am trying a new approach with these images. They are awesome..if I may so myself but I am working on making them look old. The dress is an actual dress along with veil that are from the Victorian era. So, let me know what you think! If you have ideas on how to make it look more authentic please do tell.

xoxo
Vanessa

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let's hope it is a good one without any tears.
I wish I could have a Happy New Year and a Merry Christmas, but it is not looking up for the challenge.

I am really going to get myself together for the new year.

No more tears
No more should haves
No more wish I did not do that
No more wish I WOULD have done that
No more unhappiness
No more feeling alone
No more not feeling complete


What I am going to have

Is a year filled with love, happiness and joy. I am going to have my life and my friends. I am going to be complete and satisfied even if that means things need to change in my life. I know that this year coming in front of me is going to be a challenge. However, anyone that knows me, knows I love a challenge. It is a challenge to myself to overcome this bleakness I feel. To stop feeling powerless and to start feeling in powered. I do have the ability to control my life and the events in them, and I will. So those of you who are looking to ride the drama wagon our friendship ends here. For those of you who want to have a year of happiness and cheer..hop on board. I know not every day will be like a unicorn on a rainbow but it is my goal and I am going to achieve it.

okay. Merry Christmas everyone!

Don't you just hate when you see through someone and someone that you care so much about does not? Oh it sucks but you try your hardest to make them see but just as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink. I can't make him see this so until this person proves yet again that they can not be trusted I will just stand by my dearest friend and again I will be there to hold their hand when it trembles because this person again proves how they are a vile person. Some people just have to learn things the hard way and it is sad, but what can you do...nothing.

Anyway so I went to a party on Saturday at Wendy's. It was a lot of fun to be had and I have to say I was the classy bitch with two bottles of Boone's Farm. Yeah I was a class act but I keep it realz betch! hehe.




There is seriously something wrong with me. I am watching this wretched show about making a choir. Oh but you know I was singing along to the George Michael song " Freedom". I am not above saying that I do love that song. I know I am sure I lost about 50 cool points with that, but oh well. I do enjoy that song a lot.

Well, I better get going to the get ready for the next day of work routine. I really wish I had a nice little boy that would do these things for me..again what can ya do? One can only wish. hehe.

Shoot at slower speed for more depth when shooting film Never shoot 800 speed you will get too much grain and if you try to enlarge it, it will have lots of grain.

Always shoot in the rule of thirds. Never be afraid to shoot odd angles and distorting images a bit with wide angle lenses. I never shoot anyone straight on unless it is a kind of shot that calls for it. It is really hard to shoot people from straight on unless they are symmetrically correct, and most people are not.

mmmmhmmm

I did it again! CURRY!
I just decided that I had to cook up the rest of my Tofu before it goes bad so I made ....

I hearts this stuffs. sigh.

So anyway I am getting ready to clean house and make it all spiffy so I do not have to deal with it on the weekend.

Did I mention I hate dieting? Well I do. However I hate being chunky more.

I can not wait for this weekend. I am promising myself a weekend of fun! I want to do something new...go to the Zoo ( I have never been to one), and I don't know just hang out and have fun and somewhat lazy days. I want to hang out with my friends and do stuff and stuff. hehe. So anyone wanting to hang out and have fun with me let me know. Let's go have some fun!

I just really wish it was warm outside. That is why I am hesitant in going to the Zoo. I wish I knew what there was to do other than just going to the bar. I mean its entertaining sometimes but it really makes me feel old and alone. I want to feel footloose and fancy free!

I hearts LOL CATS and the ICANHASCHEESEBURGERZ sites they make me giggles:



moar funny pictures

*puffs breath into palm of hand*
Yeah I smell like garlic! Damn garlic bagel crisps. Why do I love you so! I guess it is good the only person that will be smelling my breath or tasting it for that matter is me...and I HEARTS garlic.

I worked on my feet getting them all smooth and soft. I hate when they start to get dry cause they rub oddly on my satin sheets. It is kind of like having a hang nail getting stuck on your comforter. It does not feel good at all. Then I also applied a mask to my face to clean out the pours. Now I have a leave in conditioner in my hair with a shower cap on to keep the heat in. I have awesome pink and yellow ankle socks to on to keep the lotion on my feet to let my feet soak up the moisture and I even softened up my hands. Now I am just waiting on my eye mask to chill up to put on my tired eyes and go to bed. Yeah I think I am ready to go out tomorrow. I love doing these girlie things. It so makes me feel so put together and soft like a real girl! The only thing is that the process that I go through to make myself look okay to go out makes me look silly. It is worth it though cause no one sees it, but me! :D

Well today I feel a little sad. I feel kind of like that little hamster on his wheel. I keep spinning it thinking MAYBE I am getting somewhere but really the only thing I ever see is the freedom from outside the cage.

Last night I made some yummy curry. I made PaNang curry. with Tofu and Chicken on Jasmine Rice. It was pretty yummy. Nothing else to report. I guess I will go do laundry.


moar funny pictures

hrm I am bored.

This photo reminds me so much of my kittehs


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and something about this photo entertains me to no end


moar funny pictures

Well I got one xmas gift down.
I have another super cool one for Kiki to get now but i found others that will make it an awesome set so I am thinking of getting them too.

Well I guess I should clean house I really hate the thought of it but I really hate the thought of a dirty house too. I need more money and more time in my days. sigh.

AGAIN boys are terrible and need to learn some lessons.


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1) When you are hitting on a girl never ever try the line...your breath smells like garlic. FAIL!
2) When the girl calls you out on your mad skills for telling her that and she mentions the number of Altoids she has had and drinks, don't try to save yourself with saying no I am kidding I like it.
3) Don't continue to try to win her over and then tell her how she should just have one more Altoid for good measure then say you are kidding, because what happens you get to be made fun of by the girl.
4) Really do not keep on trying and THEN ask her for her phone number.
5) When a girl tells you "Oh I do not give my number out because I get too many freaks, I am not saying you are a freak but if you give me your number I will take it", she does not like you.
6) When a girl tells you above said line do not say "Oh you will not call me". PATHETIC.
7) When she keeps walking away from you and is obviously looking annoyed do not keep following her trying to talk to her, especially when she is obviously talking about you with her other friends and it appears they are laughing and pointing at you.
8) If you do 1-7 then you will have a LJ entry written about you for her and all her friends to join her in mocking you.

True Story.

I always use the line of "Oh I am sorry, but I do not give my number out because I get too many freaks calling me, but if you give me your number I will take it", when I do not want someone to ever call me. If I give you my number that means I do not mind if you use it sometime. I however have learned my lesson with fake numbers, although I am sure the Jesus Saves hotline has grown tired of calls for a Vanessa, and I find the humor in it, I rather just not even bother with the fake number. I will take your number and promptly throw it out.

So moral of the story is really when you are drunk watch what you say. You may just drown in your epic fail and I and all of LJ get a giggle of your stupidity!

Happy Birthday _silverrain_

I remember when I met you and all the times we shared together.
Hanging out in my apartment and being drunk with cute boys all around us!
I still remember me laying on my hard wooden floor on illicit drugs. I called you at like 4 AM and begged you to come over so that Daniel and I could pet your skin. You always had the softest skin and even today I am sad that I did not get to pet you that night. hehe.

May you have a wonderful and bright birthday. I hope that the year gives you joy, laughter and love. You deserve it all. I miss you so much my friend.


Blessed be.

Just to prove to kibean16 that I was on the Live Journal's today.
Nothing much to talk about. I rant so much on Myspace that I just feel like there is nothing to say here.






Just a couple recent photos I took last night. I was bored and wanted to prove I was still alive, although sometimes just barely.

There is one thing that I will talk about though. DRAMA. What amazes me is that I see a lot of lately. Funny those involved have un-friended me. You know I really do appreciate the help you did lend me once. It really was exceptional of you to do so. However, I just can not stand for the behavior as late. I have chose not to involve myself in it, and I am still staying away from it. My life has been pretty drama free for the last year. There has been things here and there but you know for the most part it has been pretty quiet. Honestly I like it that way. Those of you who say I like drama have been proven wrong. I sit here at my desk, in my apartment and I think of how lucky I am. Even when days suck and the world is against me, I got my Kiki, My kitties, my puppy, some friends and even my boy. What more in this world could a girl ask for? Ahhh BLISS!

Me and the Kiki, thanks to Mr. E DJ!!!